Sometimes listening, observing and just being aware is the humbled mind open in receiving mode. One day whilst stacking firewood Bo from next door, yet a constant companion of mine, keenly observed my repetitive behaviour. Then without prompting, he decided to help. He would fetch as large a piece of wood as he could manage and bring it to me. I was both touched and surprised. Each time he did this, I said thank you! His simple response was to lift his right paw as if in acknowledgment. Then he would run off to get the next piece. I exclaimed to my wife that nobody would believe this. So we photographed the acts! Hercules, the other attendee always had the expression: What about me!
When in our various opportunities to lead or team, how alert are we to what is really going on around us? Do we tell or do we ask? Do we observe and listen or do we project and impose?
Twenty years ago, Peter Drucker said, “The leader of the past was a person who knew how to tell. The leader of the future will be a person who knows how to ask.” This, we can only achieve by growth from self understanding first. It is both the confidence and the humility of a lofty perspective within every single human being that welcomes that state of mind to ask: Why? Where? What? When? Whom?
A leader is first and foremost a human being. Before becoming an organizational leader, leadership opportunities and skills were offered and honed in every life experience. Yet at the heart of this growth is the individual getting in-touch with his / her own being. Self awareness invites self confidence. This is the state of open mindedness. This is a form of perception where all experience is one of learning. When firmly grounded, one responds more than one reacts. Yet when one does both, reflection is typically a natural follow-up action!
This is the essence of the what and how of coaching in today’s world. To ask questions respectfully, is to respect the very human being in those we engage with. Many coaching frameworks and tools exist and have a good track record of adding value. What do you consciously or subconsciously default to when dealing with an issue or indeed considering what to do next?
Here at QuestUnique we use The ROQUE Model coaching and self discovery tool. Feel free to use ROQUE and share. You will notice a difference in both the relationship process and the outcome.